Chloe Sevigny
Leo Fitzpatric
Rosario Dawson
Justin Pierce
Kids is a crazy movie, and apparently really scared parents everywhere as a “realistic” look into the lives of urban teenagers. Even more than that, all they do is have sex, drink, and give each other HIV. Seriously I’m glad these kids parents never considered becoming a teacher. It starts with Telly, a smooth(?) talking ladies man, who’s favorite thing to do is take girls virginity ans give them AIDS, and he’s sleeping with a girl in a giant house. Upon finishing his “bidniss“, he gets chased out by the girls father, and he continues on his way with his friend Casper. He explains how he wants to take three girls virginity in one day. Menwhile, Jenny (Chloe Sevigny) is across town in a clinic being told she’s HIV positive, and (shockingly) realizes she got it from Tully. The rest of the movie is Tully spreading AIDS like candy, and Jenny trying to find him and stop him. The movie ends with Tully’s friend date-raping Jenny while she’s passed out, and we all assume he gets AIDS. The can’t miss moments of this gem include; a legless pan-handler on the subway scooting down the isle on a skateboard singing “I have no legs” shaking a cup of change at people; when Casper is date-raping Jenny, and he is taking her pants off, and he extra-creepy whispers to her ‘Shhhhh it’s me, Casper”, while she’s floping around drunkenly in his arms, as well as a detailed account of teenage girls giving boys oral sex from none other than a teenage Rosario Dawson.
Should you see this movie? ABSOLUTELY, if you’ve never seen this movie, you will miss out on literally hundreds of conversations, being it’s a personal favorite ice breaker of the hot male hipster persuasion. So the next time a guy walks up behind you in a bar and whispers “shhhh it’s me, Casper”, don’t mace him. Or maybe mace him.
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